How To Make The New Habit Sticks?


Have you ever worked really hard to achieve some goals in your life but stop working at the same level after you see some results with it?

Have you ever put in all your effort and devote all your time into something which you’re highly passionate about it, yet, not long after that, everything faded away and you were back to the old you just like in the past?

If you are facing this problem, you will constantly find that you can’t stay motivated for long when pursuing something which you know is going to change your life into a more positive one. In addition to that, each time after you put in some effort, you then tend to settle down for mediocrity, for what you already have, even though you know that you deserve more than that.

If this has happened multiple times in your life, then perhaps it is not as simple as you have just chosen to indulge in the wrong passion. When the same problems keep arising around you, then perhaps it is not so much about the external factor, it is more to the internal factor. Yes, I’m saying that you yourself might be the reason of this problem.

I have seen how people try to achieve or to change something in their life. The set goals, read books on that particular topic, seek advice, get excited and take action for a while, and then everything suddenly just faded away. They no longer feel the same enthusiasm like they used to feel in the beginning, nor they put in the same amount of time and effort to make things work out like what they had planned.

If you’re one of them, just like how I used to be, then perhaps you need to change now before it ruins your life.

So, now the question is: what is the root factor which causes this problem? Why at the end of the day, nothing changes even though you are so motivated to make the change in the beginning?

Well, I would say that’s because deep in your heart, you are chasing after something which you think you should have it or you should do it. It is not something which you felt it is a must do or a must have for you.

Let me give you a simple example. Have you ever decided to build your body into a better shape? Out of a sudden, you decided to waive all the fast food, start to take in a healthy diet, and start to work out with the hope that you will soon own a physique like a model on the magazine cover. However,  after a few days in a row, you seem to lose the motivation you hold in the first place and you just let yourself to lead your life like you used to be?

You can see this problem actually surrounds a large part of your life. Another example: every year, you have a New Year resolution, where you plan to change into a better you in the coming New Year. You got excited for a while and you follow all the rules and principles you set for yourself; but after some time, “poof” and you got back to the same old you.

Another example is that you decided to put in more effort into your work, hoping that you may get promoted or to obtain a higher income in the future. In the beginning, you can see the progress you make, you see the improvement and it motivates you to go further, but weirdly enough, this positive progress of yours will suddenly slow down along with your daily improvement, and then everything reverse and go back to the state like how you used to be.

I would say this has happened to most of us, and this is a serious problem because as long as it exists, you can never really achieve what you truly want in life. You will need to overcome this problem if you really want to lead a healthy lifestyle, to stay motivated to work hard for your career and for all the other things you want to achieve in life.

Let me know if you think I’m wrong. How can you be possibly made a change if you can’t stay motivated long enough to carry out all the necessary routine achieve the final goals?

Well, please take note that unable to hold onto something for long and work hard until you achieve your goal does not mean you are lazy or incapable of making changes in your life. It is just that, many times in our life, we are unaware that the way we communicate with ourselves is inappropriate.

It is good to know our inner voice is encouraging us to change into a better self. However, sometimes, the inner voice which allows us to initiate changes in our life is not strong enough to help us to stay motivated until we achieve our goal.

Very often, when we decided to make some changes, our inner voice says “ we should do this, we should be…” It can tell you anything ranging from you should be healthier, be happier, be more productive to be more attractive, but still, it will not bring any substantial result most of the time. This is because, if you have paid attention to what it says to you, you will notice that it utilize the word “should”, not “must”.

Our thoughts guide our action, and our action in return determines the result we get to a very large extend. Thus, the word “should” and “must” does really make a whole lot of difference.

Let see what is the difference if your inner voice use the word “should” or “must” 

“I should read more about personal finance to enhance my knowledge in managing my wealth.”

Interpretation- I should read about personal finance once in a while. It will help me to manage my wealth. However, it’s okay if I do not do it. It is not an obligation. If there is something else which brings more fun, I can put this task aside and come back for it later.

“I must read more about personal finance to enhance my knowledge in managing my wealth”

Interpretation- I must read about personal finance to enhance my knowledge in order to manage my wealth in a better way. If I never read about personal finance, I won’t be able to manage my wealth well. This is important. This is an obligation. I’m committed to doing it. It is the top priority in my to-do-list. It is placed above other activities.

 

Above are the simple interpretations of our inner voice. If you pay close attention to your inner voice, you will notice that when the inner voice utilize the word “should”, it means that it is not an obligation to fulfill it. You can put the task aside if you have other things which you feel more fun to do in your life. Sad to mention, most of the time, once we leave the task aside, it is hard for us to come back for it and subsequently accomplish it later.

On the other hand, for the second interpretation, the word “must” is being utilized. You can see how powerful the word is as it changes your stand on the importance of the subject. Now, you have only 1 option which is to do it.

If you are the one who want to read more about personal finance to manage your wealth in a better way, which inner voice do you think will have the greatest impact on you? Which inner voice encourages you better to get final result which you want? For me, my answer is definitely the second inner voice, which utilized the word “must”

If it is not an obligation, we will tend to think that it is completely alright just to try, and it does not really matter much if we fail to achieve what we want at the end of the day because there are plenty of options in our life which we can focus on. Thinking in such a way, we often do not unlock our full potential and justify it is completely alright to settle down for what we have at the current time and to remain in our own comfort zone.

If things have become an obligation, when we must do it regardless of the challenges ahead of us, a lot of time, we will usually give it all we have to achieve it. Even though giving all the best we have does not guarantee success, however, don’t you think that the possibility or chances to achieve success are much greater when we give in all we have? We might not be able to reach the goal this time, but we would have achieved substantial improvement. In addition to that, because it is an obligation, we need to complete it no matter what. And so, we will do it again and again until we achieve success. We never know that success may lie just one step ahead, isn’t it?

For those have been working real hard for something and then the enthusiasm just faded away and you remain the old you, please do not take it too hard.

I’m saying this because I have seen people denying their potential because they lost their motivation to do something after a while of trying. I have seen people who deny their talent for music because they are unable to stay motivated long enough to complete the necessary course and quit half-way. I have seen students claim that they are not as talented as other students but the real reason is that they are not motivated to study for the same amount of time like the others do.

Come to think about it again, do you really think the other people are far better than you merely because they are born talented? I doubt it. I believe it is just that they have taken it as a must, and thus they continue to do their best to achieve what they want.

Everyone can be good if he/she can master the art of staying motivated for long enough to achieve whatever he wants to achieve.

One of the ways to overcome this problem is as simple as changing your inner voice message.

Next time when you want to accomplish something, always use the word “must’ instead of “should”. This way, you will directly shut down excuses and left with only one option which is to do it. The chances for you to achieve what you want will turn out to be much higher. If you realize that your inner voice is utilizing the word “should” again, you can change the statement by utilizing the word “must” and then speak it out loud. Correct it by making it no longer an option but an obligation to change. This is going to increase your determination to achieve whatever you want, which in return will definitely increase the chance for you to achieve success.

Conclusion:

If you have tried to achieve something or to change a part of you which you dislike in the past but failed multiple times, please don’t relate it very much with luck, talent, timing and other excuses. Because once you give it in that way, you are rendering yourself from taking charge of your destiny.

Tell yourself that you were not wrong in believing in yourself that you can achieve that particular goal or to change yourself in the first place. You can’t take action and hold on it long enough to achieve your goals does not mean you are lazy or incapable to make changes for your own good. Tell yourself that you just need to communicate well with yourself once again and as long as you never quit, you can never fail.

Go for it one more time but this time it is no longer an option but an obligation. Trust me, the moment you  tell yourself “I must” instead of “I should”, you are also directly pointing yourself away from the mentality of “I’ll try” to a more powerful one, which is “I’ll do it”. This is going to encourage you to give in your best shot.

Give in all you got and you will be able to achieve your goals.

Jedi Master Yoda once said: “Do… or do not. There is no try.” -quoted from Star Wars

Leave a comment below if you think this is going to help to overcome some challenges you’re currently facing in your life.

I wish all of you success.

 

Darren Chow writes at www.InspirationBoost.com. He truly believes that positivity is contagious, so does your smile. Thus, he founded Inspiration Boost with a core vision: to spread inspiration to as many people as possible.

 

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4 Comments

  1. Very nice article. Totally agreed. Keep it up …:)

    • Hi Narendra Singh, thank you very much for your encouragement.

      I’m glad that you enjoyed reading it =)

  2. Thank you Darren. This really helps. Keep up your good work :)

  3. Thank you Minura for the compliment.
    Yes, I will keep up with the good work =)

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